Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
this is an emotional support booty call
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
