He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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