Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
