ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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