from now on my penis is your penis
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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