YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
