I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
