walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
