i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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