they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
