We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
