Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
