We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Found the puke drawer
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
