I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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