did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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