You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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