eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
