dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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