i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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