so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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