we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize