The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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