it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
