What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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