seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
