We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
