Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
