then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dicks are not precious.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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