Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
