I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize