one might say we're banned from that church
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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