I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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