Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
