the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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