I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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