yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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