ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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