I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
