Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
