She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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