Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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