that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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