I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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