I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They have beer where we have blood.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
