For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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