he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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