No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
