Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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