she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
