saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
