so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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