fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
