My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
