Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
