I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
