I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
as a side note pls kill me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
