you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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