dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
