I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
