If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
